I've been there before. Where is that you may ask? Facing the unknown. Tomorrow is the last day of summer term 1. It was a miracle that I got to teach summer term 1 as my original class had a whopping two students registered - not enough students to make a class (you need 10 minimum). I told the faculty support clerk who said they hadn't heard from the instructor who was supposed to teach the class. They were going to contact him again and if they couldn't get a hold of him then the class was mine. Yay for not being able to get a hold of him - it gave me more work. But now things are wrapping up and this time there is no work for summer term 2 which means I'm off work for the entire month of July and most of August which means no getting paid. I'm an adjunct psychology instructor - adjunct means as needed, part time no benefits, not rolling in the dough. I'm scheduled to teach 4 classes this fall, but that starts up August 24th and I would not get paid until the end of September and of course I get paid only for the classes that get 10 students minimum. So if only 3 classes make I get less money than if all 4 did.
So yes here I go again. I am applying for jobs as usual - my life story so it seems. I am thankful that I have been able to be at Navarro College because working with college students is something I have always wanted to do. I am glad that I have been - it has been very enjoyable and I want to continue working with college students. This is my passion and this is where my heart is. I have been applying at colleges, but they are very slow. So what next? I am going to look for work I can do, but I always hate when you apply and apply and you don't hear back or they say we have no work now - grrrr. I can't live like this. I have to pay the rent.
I think the hardest part is the waiting and the not knowing how long it is going to take. Like I said I have been here before. I would worry as I applied and contacted places, but you know what I do not like that and I do not want to do that this time around. I want to trust that God has a plan for my life. I want to trust that He has a purpose for me in this world. There have been times when I have just wanted to curl up and die - take me home already so I don't have to experience this. But you know what not anymore. I want to see what God has in store for me. I want to see where He leads me. I want to have a purpose in what He gives me to do. I love that there are doors He has shut - even though it was painful at the time, I am glad I didn't get some things I applied for and even interviewed for. I wouldn't have had the wonderful experiences I have had this past year. And have I mentioned that I love working with college students and that it is my heart and passion and I truly believe I am called to do this? I remember a time when I felt like I was just drifting (when I was teaching K-12) and it wasn't my passion - but this is different. I do not hate my job - yes there are times when it gets stressful (like later today it will be gradefest 2009 lol), or during the spring semester Human Lifespan Development kicked my bootay (but hey I read the entire 19 chapters in 16 weeks in addition to everything else I was doing). So when someone tells me I should go get training to do something else I ask why. Why? What prey tell would I train to do. Certainly not nursing. That would require me to like science and to do better in science as well as math. Ummm no I think not. Plus hello I needed a tutor for Algebra II at my community college (Chip - he wanted me to go to Europe with him lol).
So putting all my ramblings aside it boils down to this - I so far have nothing on the job front, do not know how long it will take, still would like to find a full time position at a college, and I do not want to be a prisoner trapped with the kitties in my own duplex. Don't get me wrong I love them, but I do not wish to spend 24/7 with them. I want to be able to find employment, a travel opportunity so I can get a change of scenery, or a travel/work opportunity. I also am not going to sit around on my blessed assurance and worry. This time I am going to choose to trust in God. Trust is a choice. And that is what I choose. I choose to trust in God for what He will do. Not saying it will be easy, but I choose trust.
Okay that is all. If you have made it this far past all my ramblings then you get an A for the day (or a sticker - your choice lol).
Here's a cool pic for you:
That's me with Paul Rodriguez the comedian, my friend Ted and some girl whose name I do not remember.