Stronger

Long time no blog. I still exist. I am back working as the permanent substitute again at the school I got on at last year. Tomorrow marks my one year anniversary being back with the district and in December it will be my one year anniversary at the school. I have been sooo much happier since I up and quit my job last year to get things back on track. God really is good. He is all the time because that His character, but He has been blessing me so much. I am very grateful for it. I have come a long ways since I moved back to Texas from Nashville with no place to live and a non-working car. It is a reminder to me that when we step out on faith that God will be faithful to provide. I am also reminded that when I pray and am seeking God's direction and believe that I need to do something in faith that He will provide. I love that I have my own place again and a car that will be paid off in 4 years. It keeps me keeping on - seeking God in all my ways. He really does direct your paths folks. Je really does.

Last week I had another dream about my ex-boyfriend that I have not seen in 8 years. I think out of all the guys I hung out with, that he was the one that I thought would be the one. I will not go into details, but I do have dreams about him from time to time. Anyway, I decided to pull out my Winnie the Pooh photo album of him (I used to call him Pooh when we first started going out - boy was I immature. But I digress). I was looking through it and remembering when we first met and how things were with us. He moved back to Texas two months after we started going out and my little heart was so devastated. I ended up going to visit him when we were going to have our three month anniversary. We had a good visit, but he broke up with me when I got back to California.  We did get back together and then had to take a break because I had returned to teaching and he was in his first year of teaching (having dreams about cow poop - served him right lol) because we were both stressed. Then we started talking again and then were back together until 2002. Then God took him out of my life. It was hard. I was at a low point emotionally and spiritually. I reached out to God and He pulled me up and restored me. How grateful I am for God's grace and love. Me and ex started talking again. The last time I saw him was in 2006. He wanted to do some things that I was like nope. Did you not learn your lesson? I did. The whole point of this though is that I ended up moving to Texas because of him. He did not want me to, but I did. I remember my whole first year in Texas I kept asking myself if anything happened to us would I still stay. The answer was yes. I did not stay because of him. I stayed because this is where God wanted me to be. I guess God has answered a prayer of mine - I had prayed a few times to move back to California near my brother and sister or to move somewhere else. But no. I believe I need to be here. They have planes and cars. People can come visit or relocate :)

I ran off to Nashville for a year and God used a low time in my life to bring me back here. So it reminds me that when man may so no do not do something, God may have other plans. For some reason God wants me in Texas. I do not know why. I am glad I am here. I have met wonderful people here. I love that I am a Texas girl at heart (I am a descendant of two of Stephen F. Austin's original 300 colonists so see a Texas girl at heart). Through the things I have been through during my time here, God is making me stronger (henceforth the title of the post and the Mandisa song and lyrics that will follow shortly).

I am also down 47 pounds. Not done yet, but will enjoy the journey!!

Now for the video and the lyrics. Enjoy!!

"Stronger"

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

[Chorus:]
When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you Stronger

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

[Chorus]

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger