True to Your Heart
So I had to go back to work on Monday. Spring break ended. It was a little hard because I had to make sure that I did not have my friend or "friend" at work occupying my thoughts. I needed this to happen so that I could go and just concentrate on getting through the rest of the school year and still have a job for next year. I think the antidote was when I stopped off in Austin to see my super sweet and good friends Josh and Grace (hello if you read this!). I was en route back to Arlington from seeing my 82 year old cousins in Schertz and my friend at work kept popping into my mind. Ugh. But after some a few hours with Josh and Grace (and after praying on the way to see them), bam he was not on my mind. I got to work Monday and I saw my friend or "friend" in his classroom, but knew I just wanted to avoid him. Fast forward to after school when I stopped by to ask him if he could make a bridal shower game for me because I am throwing a work bridal shower for another friend at school. I some how brought up Ru Paul's Drag Show and somehow we ended up talking for 45 minutes after school on Monday. Turns out my friend at work knows one of my fraternity brothers who does drag shows. They are friends. And my friend said he would have to take me to a drag show sometime. I would totally love that, I know odd duckling here. Whatever. On Tuesday I told my friend who I am throwing the bridal shower for about talking to my friend on Monday after school for 45 minutes and she told me some encouraging things. I also got to talk to one of the counselors at school ans she had some good things to say to me that has just really helped me to just let go and give it to God. To just surrender and let Him really guide and direct me. I do not want to be clingy or desperate. I just want to be and know that things happen in God's timing and they are perfect.
I was out on Wednesday for a dentist appointment and was back on Thursday, I found out that my friend who I am throwing the bridal shower for is having my friend work on the invitations. I also brought him the stuff for the game I wanted him to make. We are getting to work together on stuff which is good. And I have noticed that things are better. I think part of it is that I am learning that I do not need to be smothering or overwhelming to him. I do not need to be codependent (I should never be like that)/ I just need to let go and let God have me be the friend to him that he needs. He does not need codependent, smothering, mothering. He needs someone who will be calm, patient, strong but not intimidating, Someone who he can talk to and let the walls down. He does need some good friends in his life and I know that the potential is there for God to really have a great and wonderful friendship develop between the two of us. I honestly and truly care about him. He is funny and sweet and has a great personality. We can talk a lot about all sorts of stuff He is smart and has a really good memory when it comes to me. I have a good memory when it comes to him too, We had another good talk after school and ended up walking out together. I brought him my tv cabinet doors for him to work on. On Friday I surprised him with some things that he was in need of. We walked out together for him to go outside to smoke and on the way out he told me he had been at th dollar store and saw the crazy socks and almost bought me some. A miracle that he thought of me. I think of him when I see camouflage stuff. I thought about bringing him something else, but I think what I brought him at school yesterday was enough,
I know that things have been rough in the past. It is amazing to see God at work and to just let go and let Him redeem things. If God wants there to be a friendship between two people because we do not know His purpose then He will work. I pray for this friendship and for God to work where only He can. Another one of my friends is mad and cannot believe that I would even still talk to my friend at school. But you know what? She is not God. She is not the one that is guiding me and directing me. I truly truly need to depend on God for this. Man would say run far away. God's ways are not ours. He is in the business of redeeming things and making them so much better than we ever could.
Enjoy the video of 98 Degrees singing True to Your Heart. I am on a Disney kick today :) I may also want some Chinese food :)