Surrender

I am grateful to God for Him continuing to teach me and show me things in my life. He is not done with me yet! Besides being reminded that I need to enjoy the journey, something that is on going is learning how to be a friend. Especially to my friend at school. That is a continual prayer that God will let a really good friendship develop between him and I. I know that he needs friends in his life. He needs some good friends. He needs a good friend that is a born again Christian. I think that I have said this before, but I realized that I may be the only Christian that he personally knows. If that is the case then what an awesome yet humbling responsibility that I do not take lightly. It does not mean that I bash him upside the head with a Bible. It means that I let go and let God work. It is not easy sometimes and it is a struggle, but wow when you continue each day to let go it does get easier. And it brings a sense of calmness and peacefulness which I think that my friend picks up on. At least I hope he does. But, I digress. Anyway, I will not bash him upside the head with a Bible and tell him he is going to hell. I believe strongly in living out my faith. That does not mean that I talk about religion all the time. It means that I live it out through my actions. I forgive him even though he has been mean to me in the past and has been a jerk (and I did forgive him). I do not become co-dependent on him. This gets real easy for me to do since part of me worries about him. But that is part of the surrender that I must do sometimes minute by minute, sometimes hour by hour. Sometimes day by day. It just depends. It means I do not need to tell him on a daily basis that I am praying for him. I do pray for him. Each day. Sometimes more than once a day. Especially for his salvation. That is the primary thing I pray for. As well as friendship. It means I am an active listener and pay attention to when he is stressed and does not want anyone around. It means that I do nor smother him.

Something else I am learning is that surrender is not a four letter word. It's a nine letter word. Ha! Seriously. Surrender is not a bad word at all. I have realized that yes I do indeed want to get married to a wonderfully sweet guy. Preferably one that is hot and younger than me. I think 5 to 6 years younger is ideal. But, that is okay that I am not married or dating anyone right now. I believe that I have some things that need to be worked on in my life. Not just physically (I am still working on my weight loss). But emotionally and mentally (not that I have issues, but I do need some tweaking in these areas). When the time does come, I want to be interdependent and not a flaming co-dependent. I want to be a woman (and a friend to my friend) of quiet strength and also to be someone that is a calming presence. It is not easy. But I am up for this. I want to be all that God will allow me to be which is a lot. Growing can be painful, but the end results are awesome.

I am glad that God has sent my friend into my life. He is using him to teach me some things. I do not think that I can ever tell my friend that. Maybe in the future, but not now. I know that. God's timing is always the best. Something else I am learning.

Today's video is Surrender by Hillsong United. Enjoy!