On my way in today to one of the two jobs that I have (that I am grateful that I do have), I was praying for a few things. I have had a hard time getting into the mode of just talking to God. I want to, but sometimes it is hard. Like when there is just so much inside of me. I don't even know where to begin. I was thanking God today for the day and knowing that the fact that He did not take me out in the middle of the night or that the rapture has not happened yet, means He is not done with me yet. I just wonder what the heck is up sometimes. Like I have said before, I want things to fall into place for me. But then I think I just have to take it one day at a time and let all of this go. Do what God puts in front of me. He has me here still for a purpose. And I just have to live today for Him. I can't worry about how I am going to live in February, I just have to make it through today. But still I want things to fall into place for me. I want those prayers I have been praying since I lost my job in October of 2003 to be answered. I want that last reference letter to get in so I can finish applying for this advisor/counselor position in Tennessee. I want to be able to find something I can do in the interim that will work with Hill College so I can live. Maybe it is bad to say I want, but then I think about what I am going through. And yes I pray that things will fall into place for me this year. In 2010. I am not sorry that things have occurred as they have. I know God has a purpose for it, but please God let it happen already because I don't think I can make it any longer. Please let it happen for me. And let Allan talk to me again. I miss him and the friendship that we could have had.
Okay today's video is I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin. It is from his performance at the 2009 Dove Awards.