Day 4 of the 24 Days of Christmas blog posts. Why exactly am I doing this? Because it is fun and I am a blogger and I like having blogger problems of what the heck am I doing today? How many days left of this. And I will get this done. Again.
So as I type this. I am listening to Mark Hall's testimony on You Tube. He is in Casting Crowns (really must get some more of their cds). I will put it up here one of these days. It is really awesome. So is the Bible. I like how it is filled with messed up people. People that did not know what the heck they were doing and had no plans, but followed the in obedience to God and took it one step at a time as they followed into the unknown.
I kind of relate this to what is going on with me praying for my friend from work. I feel like I am such a mess. So screwed up. I mess things up. I have come across as a cheerleader when he does not want one. I have asked innocent questions that have made him stress out. I asked him something about work and he does not want to answer. He said we will catch up when he is back (and that will be what month exactly?). I am frustrated that there are not answers yet. I have gotten to the point where I have said to God that if He really wants me to keep pushing through in praying for him then He is going to have to do a few things with me. 1. Move in me to pray. 2. Give me the strength to keep on praying when all I want to do is throw up my hands in frustration (almost said my friend lol - would like to do that too) and 3. Keep me from contacting him. And then I think if God really wants him to have Christian friends in his life and I am one of them, well hopefully I did not mess anything up. But I do not think that is a problem. He says we will catch up when he gets back to work, So that is hopeful. Then I feel like God if I am the one that you choose to share Christ with him, can't you give me a mouthpiece. Yes I now know how Moses felt. Bring me my Aaron. Yet God will not do that, I feel like there are other people that would be so much better than me to do this. People who would not have made it where he said don't talk to him until he gets back to work. Yet I am called. Called to become a friend to him (which will be a miracle in and of itself and hopefully we will be able to look back one day and laugh because this is the oddest way for a friendship to develop. I started praying for you in the midst of your mental breakdown). And maybe this is what God wants in his life. For him to be going through this because He is on the verge of changing his life. I do not know the plans God has for my life or for anyone else's life. But I know that I will be obedient and I will do what God asks me to do. I have done it before. I taught in a jail and look what happened. I moved back to Texas from Nashville and look what has happened. I do not know what lies ahead, but I will walk in obedience. I need the strength of the Creator of the universe to get through this I cannot do this on my own.
I hope that God keeps on using me. I like it. I hope He has more for me. Like working with students or working in youth ministry by being a volunteer. I do not know what lies ahead and where I will be living next year. If I still am working in north Dallas next year I will probably move closer to work. Not understand it, but will go if that is where I am to be.
Today's song is Silent Night. Casting Crowns. Enjoy!